Dreaming in Dairyland Read online

  Cissie wondered if anyone had ever told him he'd done the right thing and held him since the shooting. There was Bob, tough for everyone else, but no one was tough for him. "You want to know what I think?"

  Bob looked at her face, really looked at her for the first time since he'd started his story. Her face was covered with tears. "I do."

  "I think Tanya should be—I'd say shot, but that would be terribly insensitive. Something awful should happen to her. Maybe she should be put in a pit filled with rattlesnakes. Or we could drag her behind a car. Or—I can think of a number of things I'd like to do to that witch. And I do mean witch with a capital B." She shook her head. "You did your job, and you did the right thing. You're a good man. Of course, you have nightmares about it still. Why wouldn't you?" She shook her head. "Tanya should have held you after it happened. She should have told you she still loved you, because you're a wonderful, lovable person, Bob. Would you mind giving me her address? Please?"

  Bob gave a half laugh, dragging her against him. "You are ten times the woman Tanya was. She did me a favor, and I can see that now. If she hadn't left, I'd have been stuck with her, but I know now I never loved her. How could I love her when my heart has been waiting for you for all this time?"

  Cissie buried her face in his shoulder, happy to be in his arms. Happy to feel at home. Finally, she understood what he'd been hiding, and it hadn't been a terrible thing. "Why didn't you want to tell me what happened?" she asked. That was the one thing she couldn't understand.

  "Because I was afraid you'd leave, like Tanya did. I thought that somehow I was defective." He rested his cheek on the top of her head. "I thought it was my fault it happened."

  "How on earth could you blame yourself? You told her to stay in the car, right?" Cissie couldn't believe what she was hearing.

  "Yes, but—"

  "You ran after her as fast as you could, right?"

  He nodded.

  "Then you did what you could! You are not at fault. The only one at fault that day is the man who was holding up the convenience store." She stroked his cheek. "You have to believe me when I say that. It's not your fault!" If she did nothing else in her life, she had to convince him of that.

  "I'll try."

  "What did the department shrink say about fault?" she asked softly.

  "He said I need to quit blaming myself." Bob sighed. "He also said the nightmares would keep escalating until I told you. I didn't want to tell you, Cissie."

  "I know you didn't, but I'm glad you did. How can I help you heal if I don't know you're injured?"

  "How are you going to help me heal anyway?" he asked, confused.

  "I'll have to kiss all of your booboos, of course."

  Bob grinned. "That just might help."

  *****

  They had dinner out that night, neither of them feeling like cooking. When they got home, Cissie hugged Bob tightly. "Thank you for telling me what you did. I knew you were hiding something, and I was falling in love with you, and it was about to kill me. I couldn't love a man I couldn't trust, but I couldn't trust a man who couldn't trust me. Am I making any kind of sense at all?"

  Bob nodded. "You are. I do love you, Cissie."

  Cissie smiled. "I know. I love you, too." She stood on tiptoes, kissing him softly.

  He pulled her even closer. "I was afraid you'd never say that to me. We got off to a rocky start, thanks to my secrets."

  "We did. Next time you marry a random stranger, you should be more honest about stuff from the beginning. It'll make things easier for you."

  Bob just glared at her. "Now why would I ever do that again? I'm married to the woman I love, who just said she loves me back. There's no way I'm going through that again."

  "Going through that?" Cissie asked in mock-anger. "Are you kidding me? You make me sound like some huge ordeal you just had to live through."

  He laughed. "Well you were a bit difficult to deal with. I mean, how many virgin brides are practically stripping their husbands while they're still in the church?"

  "Oh, quit bragging. You know you loved it!"

  Bob laughed. "I love everything about you, Cissie Anderson."

  Epilogue

  Bob stomped the snow off his shoes before he opened the door to the house, finding Cissie curled up under a quilt on the couch. "You're home early. Are you sick?"

  Cissie smiled up at him as he leaned down to kiss her before she even answered. That's what being married was all about. Not caring if the other person was sick and kissing them anyway.

  "No, I took the day off today so I could go to the doctor, remember? I told you I was going to."

  He nodded. "Yeah, I remember." They'd been married over a year, and were about to celebrate their second Christmas together. His nightmares still came, but they were getting further and further apart. "How'd it go?"

  Cissie smiled. "Well, it looks like Cindy's little girl is going to have a friend."

  "You mean—"

  "I do mean. I took a test a couple of days ago, but I just wanted to be certain before I told you. We're having our own in about seven months."

  He sat down beside her, almost afraid to touch her. "Are you happy about it? I know you always said you didn't really want a baby."

  She shrugged. "I think I am. I'm having a really hard time with morning sickness, and I'm not sure why they call it morning sickness, because it's starting when I get up and going until I go to bed."

  "Are you going to be okay?"

  "Yes, I'll be fine, but the doctor doesn't want me working a lot of hours until my stomach calms. Jason is going to take over as manager for a while. I'll go in at least a couple of times a week so I can monitor him, but he's going to run things."

  "Wow. I can go back to day shift!"

  She laughed. "I know how much you hate nights. Yeah, go back to days. And I may not go back to working any more than a couple of hours twice a week. I may just decide to be a stay at home mom."

  "Just so long as you don't abandon your karaoke fans."

  She laughed. "I think they'd survive if I did."

  "Have you told Cindy?"

  She shook her head. "I wanted you to know first. I'll tell her tomorrow when we meet for lunch." Cindy was six months along, and she was craving everything bad for her. Fried cheese curds and root beer were just what she wanted.

  "I'm coming too!"

  "Of course. You're going to be a wonderful father, Deputy Bob."

  "What do you want to name him?"

  Cissie glared at him. "He's a she. We're naming him Roberta, Bobbi for short."

  Bob groaned. "I have seven months to talk you out of that."

  "You can try..."

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