Mail Order Mommy Page 9

  “And their relationship didn’t last?”

  He shook his head. “She continually talked to him about marriage, and he finally told her he didn’t think they would be compatible. I didn’t know he’d told her that, and I’d met her a few times, gone to supper with them, that sort of thing. I found out later that he had thought about hosting a supper party, and he asked her if she would be willing to make the meal. She had laughed in response, telling him that she’d never be willing to do the job of servants, but she would be happy to cling to his arm and play hostess.”

  Berniece nodded. “I can’t see Abel being willing to be put up with someone like that.”

  “He wasn’t. Honestly, if I’d had a chance to talk to him, I wouldn’t have been willing either.” He shrugged. “I went into town the next morning to get some supplies. At that point, I was eating with my men every night, and I was there getting the food we needed for meals. When I got to the store, I found her there, and she was crying. I didn’t know better, so I went over to try to soothe her.”

  “Well, of course. You knew her, and she was new to town.”

  “Right. Well, I’d always thought she was beautiful and my brother was the luckiest man in all Montana for having her as his sweetheart. I asked her if she was all right, and she threw herself into my arms. She told me that she and Abel had a fight, because she told him that she had feelings for me, and he had yelled at her. I couldn’t picture it, but I knew that if anyone could make him angry, it was her. You either wanted to love her or hate her. She said she had nowhere to go and told me about her father losing all his money.”

  “So, you asked her to marry you and did it right then before you talked to Abel.”

  “Am I that transparent?” Kane asked, shaking his head. “I was happy for exactly three hours before I found out how she really was. We went to the church, married, and then I took her out for lunch, and she was so sweet. When I got her home, she took one look around my house and asked me why I expected her to live in filth. Then she asked when I was hiring a maid.”

  Berniece had the strange desire to laugh at that, but she held it in. She couldn’t imagine Kane being married to anyone who wasn’t willing to work. “Oh my.”

  He grinned at her. “I guess that explains why I was so worried you’d end up being a wastrel.” He sighed deeply. “We managed to live together for all of a week, when she ‘borrowed’ some of my money that I had left out for household expenses and went back to the hotel. She stayed there for around a month before she came back to me and informed me she was carrying my child and she didn’t want it.” He could still see how her face looked as she told him how much she wished she’d never conceived the baby.

  Berniece shook her head. “I can’t imagine a mother not wanting her own child.”

  “Of course, you can’t. You want another woman’s child, and the fact that you didn’t give birth to her doesn’t bother you even a little bit.”

  “No, it doesn’t.” She sighed. “She sounds like someone I would want to slap.”

  Kane laughed softly. “I did want to slap her often. But I never did, and I think I should get some sort of medal for that. Well, I used to think so.” He shook his head. “She moved back in with me, and we did our best to make things work, but she was constantly telling me that I couldn’t expect her to do any kind of work, because she was expecting. I couldn’t ask her to cook or clean or even be kind to people. She was pregnant, and she was always sore and hurting.”

  Berniece understood the knowing looks she’d gotten around town when people found out she was married to Kane. “I’ve thought this whole time that you loved her so much you couldn’t speak about her.”

  “I never loved her. I was infatuated by her for a few hours. When she died, I felt terrible, because the baby was mine, and she’d died in childbirth, and I couldn’t bring myself to be horribly sad she’d died. The guilt has truly overwhelmed me. She wasn’t a pleasant or loving person, but she did give me my child. She gave her life for little Ruth, and I need to always respect her for that.”

  “Respecting her and mourning her are two very different things. I know that if I had married Albert Chase and he had died a short while later, I would have felt only relief. I couldn’t have mourned him.”

  “No, I don’t suppose you could have.” Kane sat down again, and he grasped her hand. “You don’t think less of me?”

  She shook her head adamantly. “How could I think less of you for that?”

  He pulled her to her feet and walked into the parlor with her. “I want you to tell me exactly what happened with Albert Chase now.”

  Berniece took a deep breath. “You know most of it. My whole life I was aware of the man, because he came over to dinner often, and he was always looking at me as if I belonged to him. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable. If I knew he was coming for supper, I would do my best to go to a friend’s house so I didn’t have to see him. Or I’d pretend to be sick and stay in my room without eating.”

  Kane frowned. “Men shouldn’t make girls feel that way.”

  “No, they shouldn’t. I always thought of him as an old man. I guess I really became aware of the fact he was my father’s boss when I was about five, and already he made me feel bad about myself. The day I turned nineteen, I went home fully expecting a birthday party. My parents had said they would have a surprise for me when I got home from the orphanage. Instead of a party, he was there. He asked me to be his wife, and I said no. I didn’t even have to think about it.”

  “Of course, you didn’t.”

  She smiled. “My father didn’t give me the choice. He grabbed me by the shoulder, took me into his office, and told me in no uncertain terms that since I hadn’t found a husband by myself, then he had taken the matter into his own hands, and he’d arranged a marriage for me. I was to go out and tell Mr. Chase that I would marry him and beg his forgiveness for my rudeness.”

  “Did you?”

  “Not immediately. It took some convincing and some threats, but finally I did what he said. I apologized, and Albert laughed as if it was all a big joke. He walked me to the door, and he kissed me. Well, he would have called it a kiss, but I would have called it a molestation of my mouth.” She shuddered. “I was told the next morning that I needed to stop going to the orphanage because it was time for me to start planning my wedding. It became my job to shop and plan my wedding. Once every week, Albert would take me out for dinner and kiss me, telling me what my duties would be as his wife.”

  He shook his head. “He sounds like such a pleasant man.”

  “He was worse than you’re imagining. Anyway, a few days before I left, he took me to supper, and I asked him why he didn’t want to marry someone closer to his age. He was extremely angry when I said that, and he told me he would punish me. He wasn’t sure how, but he would come up with a good way to do it, and he would tell me the next time he saw me. He wouldn’t punish me until our wedding night, though, because then I would be his.” She shuddered as she told him everything. “He wanted me to know what the punishment was so I could think about it for the two months leading up to our wedding.”

  “And did you tell your parents?” He was more disgusted by her story than he’d imagined he’d be.

  “Actually, when he took me home that night, he told my father he would have to find a way to punish me, and they laughed about it. And then my parents left the room so we could ‘spark.’ As if I wanted that odious old man touching me. I tried to talk to my mother the next morning, and she wouldn’t do anything, so I went for a walk and ended up at the mercantile looking at books, as I always did. There I saw an advertisement I’d seen for years but never even thought about . . . until that moment. And I went and talked to Elizabeth Tandy, Charlie’s older sister. Elizabeth listened to my story, and she found a way to get me on a train less than forty-eight hours later.”

  “I’m glad you had the courage to go to her.”

  Berniece nodded. “I am, too. All I could think a
bout was getting away from that man. My mother wouldn’t help me. My father thought it was a good idea. I had to take matters into my own hands—or in my case, put matters in Elizabeth’s hands.”

  He leaned back on the sofa and wrapped his arm around her. “If I were a writing sort, I would need to write a book about Veronica and Albert and how well they would have done together.”

  “Oh, that’s mean. But yes, that’s a book I would read.” She looked over at him. “Thank you for telling me all that about Veronica. I can see where it wouldn’t be something you want your new wife to know, but . . . I could tell there was something I didn’t know every time I met a new person in town.”

  “Does this mean we can move forward now?” He was afraid to look at her as he asked the question. He wanted a real marriage with her, where she did all the things she’d been doing and she shared his bed. That last part was becoming more important by the day.

  “I would like that a lot.” Berniece took a deep breath, considering telling him she loved him right then, but she wanted to make a big deal out of it. She would make a special supper, and she’d tell him over dessert—as he was marveling at her cooking prowess.

  “Me too.” He glanced at a clock on the wall. “We’ve been talking for a very long time. We need to get back to town for supper and so we can bring our daughter home.”

  “Yes, we do.” She got to her feet and smiled down at him. “I’m so glad we talked about these things. I feel like we really can move on now.”

  “I do, too.” He got to his feet and drew her against him, kissing her softly. “Thank you for not thinking less of me.”

  “Well, you could have thought less of me, too. We’ll let bygones be bygones, and we can talk about the people who have been so rude to us if we want to.” She rested her forehead against his shoulder. “I feel like a load has been lifted off my shoulders. I’m not sure if it’s because you told me about Veronica, or if it’s because I told you everything about Albert. Either way, I’m glad we had this talk. But I do want to see the ranch sometime.”

  He smiled. “I know. You’ll get to see the ranch.” He walked out to hitch up the team, feeling a lot lighter himself. Berniece was good for him.

  After her laundry the following day, Berniece made a special supper for Kane. She wanted to tell him she loved him in the nicest way she could think of. She made steak, baked potatoes, and green beans, knowing that he was particularly fond of steak.

  When he came in at the end of the day, he looked as if he’d just combed his hair back and he had more flowers in his hand. “I can’t pick them after the snow starts, and it could come any day. Farmer’s almanac is calling for an early winter.”

  She walked to him and stood on tiptoe to kiss him. “Thank you. They’re lovely.”

  While he washed his hands and played with Ruth, she arranged the flowers in a vase and put them beside the other, thinking about how overrun with flowers her house was about to be if he kept this up. “How was your day?”

  He rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. “The men are off for the cattle drive, and we moved the rest of the herd down to the river.”

  “Sounds interesting.”

  “It wasn’t a lot of fun, but little of ranch work is. I do love to be outdoors, and I love the animals. And the money isn’t too terribly bad.” He smiled at her. “Did she crawl today?”

  Berniece laughed, shaking her head. “She neither crawled nor spoke. You’re good for another day.”

  “Glad to hear it!”

  She put the food in front of him before sitting down and cutting off a small piece of her potato to cool for Ruth. After the prayer, she mashed it up and mashed a few green beans, mixing them together. “This is going to be nummy!”

  Kane didn’t think it was possible to love a woman as much as he loved Berniece at that moment. She’d spent the day taking care of his baby, made his favorite meal, cleaned house, and now she was talking to the baby as if she were the most important person in her world. “I love you.”

  Berniece’s head turned toward him, and her eyes grew wide. “Did you just say what I think you said?”

  He chuckled. “How could I not love someone who gives so much of herself to everything she does?”

  “I made this meal special so I could tell you that I love you while you ate it, and here you are saying it before I even get a chance.”

  “Do you mean it? You really love me?”

  “I really do love you, Kane Burton. And I hope we have many happy years together and a dozen children.”

  He frowned. “As long as your births are easy with all of them.”

  She shrugged. “I’m not worried about dying in childbirth. With our modern medicine it’s happening less and less.”

  “All right . . .”

  After the baby was in bed, he took her into his arms, looking down into her eyes. “Since we love each other, how about sleeping in my bed tonight? I really kind of expected you to last night, but you went to your old room . . .”

  “You didn’t ask me to sleep with you, so I thought you wanted me in my old room. If you say what’s on your mind, we’ll communicate a lot more clearly.”

  He smiled at that. “Berniece, I would really enjoy it if you would move into my room and let me make love to you.”

  She laughed. “Now that was clear. I’d be happy to!”

  Epilogue

  A year and a half later, Berniece was sitting up in bed, sweat still on her forehead as she stared into the eyes of a tiny baby boy. The midwife had just left, and Kane was sitting beside her.

  “He’s beautiful. And you’re still alive!”

  “I told you I was going to be fine,” she said, shaking her head at him. “Should we bring Ruth in to see the baby?”

  He nodded, going to get their little girl, who was in the kitchen with her aunt Charlie baking cookies. Ruth had grown into a beautiful little girl with blond ringlets, looking more like her mother than he’d ever dreamed she would, but her disposition was just like Berniece’s. She’d learned a great deal from her step-mother.

  When Ruth walked in, her eyes were wide with surprise.

  “It’s a boy?” she asked. Charlie must have told her.

  “Yes, it’s a boy. What do you think we should name him?”

  Ruth wrinkled her little nose. “George?” she asked. Berniece knew there was a little boy named George at the church she liked to speak with.

  “How about if we call him Seth? It’s a strong Bible name, and it goes well with Ruth.” Berniece looked at Kane for his reaction.

  “That sounds good to me. We’ll keep on going with the bible names.”

  “Mommy?” Ruth asked, and Berniece’s heart swelled, as it did every time the little girl called her that.

  “Yes, Ruth?”

  “Love you.” Ruth climbed onto the bed beside her and rested her head on her mother’s shoulder as she looked down at her little brother.

  Berniece looked at her children and then over at her husband, and she knew that her life had never felt so complete. “I love you, too, Ruth. And I love your daddy, and I even love little Seth.”

  Kane walked over and squatted in front of Berniece, looking at the baby. His whole world was right there in that room with him, and he couldn’t be happier.

  Also by Kirsten Osbourne

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  About the Author

  www.kirstenandmorganna.com

 

 

 
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