Dreaming in Dairyland Read online

  "Your dream."

  "I don't remember what it was about." He turned his back to her, closing his eyes tightly. He couldn't talk about what had happened with Chaynade. He couldn't.

  Cissie stared at his back in the dark for a moment, wondering what she'd done wrong. Why wouldn't he talk about his dream? She rolled to her side facing away from him. She closed her eyes, hoping sleep would come. It was her first day back at work, and she knew it would be a busy one.

  *****

  Cissie got a call from Lachele as she was getting ready for work. "Hi, snickerdoodle." Lachele sounded as sweet as ever, but for the first time, Cissie was just annoyed by the other woman's voice.

  "Don't you snickerdoodle me, Lachele! I can't believe you set me up with someone who requested me! Why would you do that? Is that even ethical?" Cissie knew her voice was harsh, but she didn't care. She had a right to be angry, and she wasn't going to hide it from the woman she felt had betrayed her.

  "I did more tests on him than anyone else. There's not a thing about that man I don't know. I even made him go see a doctor so I could be sure he was in working baby-making order for you." Lachele's voice was calm and reasonable. She'd obviously been expecting the attack. Cissie wondered who'd tipped her off.

  "I don't want babies anytime soon!" Cissie wasn't sure she ever wanted babies at this point, but if she did, not for a few years at least.

  "But when you do want them, you know he's not shooting blanks! I did more for you than I have for any other woman I've matched. You can't say I haven't." Lachele sounded sad. "I really thought he might be the right man for you, sweetie. And after all the tests said he was, I couldn't not set you up with him."

  "You could have introduced us like normal people so we could be on even ground! He knew everything about me going into our marriage, and I knew nothing about him!"

  "He's a good man, Cissie. Are you still angry with him?"

  Cissie sighed. "He is a good man, and no, I'm not still angry with him. Just with you." And she could feel that anger rapidly dissipating. She needed to take a class in how to stay mad at someone. Cindy could stay mad for months without it bothering her a bit. Maybe Cindy could teach the class!

  "Don't be mad. I really did what I thought was the best thing for you. He loves you."

  Cissie wrinkled her nose at that. "I don't know about love. He doesn't know me well enough to love me."

  Lachele laughed. "Normally, I'd agree with that, but Bob is something special. He really does love you. The sooner you believe that the easier things will go for the two of you!"

  "Do you know why he has nightmares?" Cissie asked, changing the subject. If Lachele had made such a careful study of Bob, then surely she could answer that simple question for her.

  Lachele was quiet for a moment. "Yes, I do, but it's not my place to talk about it. Did you ask him?"

  "He said he couldn't remember the dreams."

  "Keep asking him, cupcake. He'll tell you. It's hard for him to talk about still."

  Cissie sighed. "I feel like the whole world is in on all these big secrets about my husband except me." She hated being in the dark about anything. It made her feel helpless.

  "He'll tell you when he's ready. It's nothing you need to worry about. I promise you that."

  "Fine." Cissie glanced at the clock on the wall. "I need to go. I'll miss having lunch with Cindy if I don't hurry."

  "You don't want that! Give her a nice big boobie bump for me."

  "I will!" Cissie pressed end and realized she'd forgiven Lachele already. She'd never really been one to hold a grudge.

  ******

  Cissie's dad was waiting for her when she got to work. "Hey, Dad. How'd everything go?" She was more worried about how her new cook had done chasing after Ashley than anything else. She wouldn't ask though. If it had been a problem, her dad would surely say something.

  "We had a good week. All except for Wednesday night karaoke. They expected me to sing the first song, and it was a bit of a disaster."

  Cissie was well aware of her dad's tin ear. "What did you sing?" Her dad was a bad singer, but he wasn't nearly as bad as some of their karaoke regulars.

  "'Sweet Caroline.' It's a classic!"

  Cissie shook her head. "But everyone sings it for karaoke. It should be banned from karaoke everywhere." She realized then she should have picked out a song for him. That would have made his week easier. Of course, with her dad's voice, she'd have chosen something like 'C is for Cookie.'

  Her dad shrugged. "Well, I've never done karaoke before. How was I supposed to know that?" He studied his daughter. "Your cop treating you right?"

  "He's a good man, Dad." Cissie wasn't about to mention the trouble they'd had when she found out about Bob deceiving her. Her dad would come unglued about that, and she didn't need him mad at her husband.

  "I'm glad." He didn't look quite convinced. "We're heading south next week. Your mom is ready to see some of the warmer places in the nation."

  "All right." Cissie knew her parents were on a never-ending quest to avoid extreme weather, either hot or cold. "Do you want to keep doing some of the late night stuff this week? So I can have a little more time with my husband?" She knew her dad missed running the bowling alley as much as she needed more time with Bob. Whatever that nightmare had been, she needed to be able to help him with it.

  He thought about it for a minute before nodding. "If you'll work late on Wednesday, I'll be in by five the other nights this week."

  Cissie threw her arms around her father. "Thanks, Dad."

  He held her close. "Just so you're happy. That's all I want."

  "I'm going to make lunch for Cindy and me. Do you want to eat with us?" Cindy was like a second daughter to her father, so it wouldn't be unusual for him to join them.

  "Absolutely not. I know how you girls talk, and I do not want that much insight into your new marriage. I know you'll be a virgin until you're eighty seven, and that's all that matters to me."

  Cissie grinned as he walked away, toward the door of the bowling alley. She'd let him keep lying to himself for as long as he wanted to. They both knew better, but if it made him feel better to pretend, she wasn't about to disillusion him.

  At the door, he turned to wave. "I'll be here at five."

  "Thanks, Dad!" She couldn't have asked for a better father.

  Cissie rushed into the kitchen to get lunch started.

  When Cindy arrived twenty minutes later, she seemed almost afraid to approach Cissie. "Everything all right?"

  Cissie nodded. "You know I can't hold a grudge. Good thing for everyone involved."

  Cindy sighed. "It is. Did you make your peace with Lachele?"

  "Of course. She was trying to do the best thing for me blah blah blah. Sometimes I wish people would let me decide what the best thing for me is." She shrugged. "Good news though. Dad is going to work every night this week except Wednesday, and really I can leave early on Wednesday as long as I sing the first song for karaoke."

  "Oh, that's nice! So you'll at least get to see Bob a bit."

  "He's going to try to have his schedule adjusted for next week, so we'll be getting off work at the same time." She briefly thought about mentioning Bob's bad dream, but she realized there was a line about what she could talk to her best friend about, and that was crossing it.

  "Is that good or bad? Do you still feel like he's all weird and stalkery?" Cindy studied her friend.

  Cissie shook her head. "You know, I never really felt that way. It just felt like a betrayal of sorts. I've talked to Lachele, and I just can't stay mad at that purple-haired freak. Bob and I are good. Trey still has his tallywacker, I assume?"

  "So far. Should he still have it?"

  Cissie shrugged. "Yeah, I'll get over it. It was just annoying that things were hidden from me that I had a right to know. I'll live." She hoped she'd caused a big enough stink that no one would try to play that kind of mind game with her again.

  "I know you will. I'm just tryin
g to figure out if we're still mad at our husbands or if Trey is allowed to come back to bed tonight."

  "You're the best friend a girl could ever have, you know that?" Cissie squeezed Cindy's hand before applying herself to her lunch. "Did you really kick him out of bed?"

  Cindy sighed. "I thought about it, but then I couldn't figure out why I should punish myself."

  Cissie grinned. "I appreciate you even considering making that kind of sacrifice for me."

  "I promise you, if a giant chocolate kiss ran into the bowling alley right now, I'd let you sniff the wrapper when I was done eating it. That's the kind of friend I am."

  "I appreciate that about you, Cindy. What would I do without you?"

  "Honestly, you'd probably get a lot more chocolate..."

  Cissie nodded. "So true."

  *****

  Cissie thought about texting Bob that she'd be home early, but she decided to surprise him instead. When she got to the house, his SUV was out front, so she called out to him as she walked in the front door. "Honey, I'm home!" She did her best to sound like a sitcom husband.

  Bob stuck his head out of the kitchen where he was still in his uniform. "What are you doing here so early? Not that I'm complaining!" He rushed from the kitchen to kiss her, a grin on his face.

  "I do like a man in uniform." Cissie took a step back and skimmed her eyes down him from head to toe. "All I can think about is taking that uniform off you, Deputy Bob." She loved the way his shoulders looked in his uniform. "You should really wear that even on your days off. I like it so much."

  He looked down at her. "So it doesn't really matter what I look like or who I am, as long as I'm wearing a uniform?"

  Cissie's hands rubbed his shoulders. "No, I think I like the uniform a bit extra because of the man inside it!" She winked up at him.

  "Do you now?" He leaned down and kissed her again, his hands gripping her through the jeans that molded her bottom. "I like you in your jeans. What are you doing home so early? Did you miss me so much you couldn't stay away?"

  She grinned, nipping his neck softly. "My dad is going to come in at five every day except Wednesday so I can come home early. Just this week, but it gives us a bit more time together." Time for him to tell her about his bad dreams, she hoped.

  Bob grinned. "I'll take it!"

  "You don't really have a choice. Until Mom and Dad are on the road again, you're stuck with me." Well, he was stuck with her forever, but she wasn't about to tell him that just then. He already had bad dreams!

  "Like glue? Or more like being handcuffed together?"

  Cissie tilted her head to the side thinking about it. "Probably more like glue. Really strong glue, the kind that only really works on human skin." She sighed. "I'm hungry."

  Bob blinked at her abrupt change of subject for a moment. "I was just about to make myself a couple of sandwiches for dinner. How does that sound?"

  "Grilled cheese?" Cissie wasn't a huge fan of cold sandwiches, but she loved a good grilled cheese. "Oh, a grilled cheese with ham on it!" She could already taste it.

  He grinned at her. "Are you going to cook?" She had yet to cook for him. He was joking just to see her reaction.

  She sighed. "Yeah, I can cook." She walked to the kitchen sink and washed her hands. "Do you want ham on yours?"

  "Yes, please." He hadn't expected her to agree to cook, but when she had, he wasn't going to argue with her. "I'll go change while you cook."

  Cissie turned and looked at him. "Leave that on for a while longer, would you?" She didn't want to give up looking at him in his uniform just yet. Maybe she was strange, but she liked it way too much.

  He laughed. "You really do like my uniform."

  "Oh, Deputy, if only you knew..." She grinned at him over her shoulder as she sliced several pieces of cheddar cheese off a big block.

  While they ate, they talked about their day. "The sheriff was able to find me someone to switch shifts with me starting Monday, so that's taken care of. I will miss watching you on Wednesday nights, though." He got a thrill out of watching her sing before they were married. How would it be now when he knew he was coming home to her?

  "Why don't you come in for your lunch break? Can you make it around six? That's the time I always sing." She suddenly felt like she needed him there watching her. She didn't know where that feeling came from, but she hoped she wasn't turning into one of those clingy wives.

  He shook his head. "It needs to be more like seven or so."

  "Well, then I'll sing at seven as well." She would start planning for the song she'd sing that week. It had to be something special just for him.

  "That would work. I'd love to be there for it."

  "Are you going to come for karaoke this week? You don't have to stay the whole time." She really liked the idea of singing for him, knowing he was there listening. Yes, she'd sung for him many times, but she hadn't known she was singing for him. Now she would know.

  He nodded. "Wouldn't miss it." He took a bite of his sandwich. "This is really good! I thought you couldn't cook!"

  "First of all, that's a grilled cheese, not exactly culinary greatness. Second, I never said I couldn't cook. I said I don't like to cook. Big difference. I help out in the kitchen at the bowling alley all the time. When I'm not waiting tables or renting shoes or doing paperwork. I don't want to have to cook at home as well."

  "I can understand that. I'll plan on cooking most meals."

  She shrugged. "I can get behind that. I'll cook sometimes, but only when you're least expecting it or I'm craving something."

  "That works." He reached across the table for her hand. "I'm glad your dad is going to cover for you in the evenings this week. Should make life much more pleasant."

  She laughed. "More exciting probably. Especially if you wear your uniform."

  He shook his head. "You and your uniform fetish. How will I ever know if you want me for myself and not just the uniform I wear?"

  Cissie tilted her head to the side for a moment, pretending to contemplate his question. "It's probably best if you always wear it around me so we never need to find out for certain."

  *****

  Bob woke up in a cold sweat again, shouting. "Don't go in there! Wait for me!" His whole body was shaking.

  Cissie reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. "Bob, you're dreaming again. Are you all right? Do you want to talk about it?" She wanted to help him, but she knew he wasn't going to let her. Why couldn't he just tell her what the problem was?

  He shook his head adamantly, jumping out of bed. "Going to get a shower." He shut the bathroom door behind him with a snap. He hated himself for upsetting her, but he knew she could never understand.

  As the water washed over him, he leaned his head against the wall. The nightmares were worse all of a sudden, and he had no idea why. He was happier than he'd thought he could be, except for the dreams that haunted him.

  He thought back over every detail of the dream, reliving the night Chaynade had died.

  Chaynade had been his partner for only three months, a rookie fresh from the academy. She was a young black woman, barely old enough to wear a badge, but so full of life, she'd made every day more pleasant. She'd recently gotten engaged, and he and his fiancée, Tanya, had attended her engagement party just days before.

  They'd been on their way to dinner at a little diner in the middle of Chicago where all the cops ate together. The owner gave a twenty percent discount to police officers, knowing it was the best way to make certain he'd be the last restaurant to be robbed. "I want to listen to music for a change. All we ever do is listen to this stupid, boring, dispatcher." Chaynade glared at him.

  Bob had stopped at a light, looking at her like she'd lost her mind. "You do know we're cops, and the only way we know when someone is in trouble is if the dispatcher tells us, right?" How many times did he have to explain it to her? If they missed the dispatcher, people could die. There was no time in a cop's workday for music.

  "I'll play the
music low." She'd propped her phone onto the console of the car, setting it to her iTunes selections. "I love eighties music, don't you?"

  Bob merely grunted. He didn't think they should be listening to music at all while on duty, but Chaynade and her attitude were contagious. It wasn't long before he was laughing at her car dancing. "You know, people can see in our windows! What are they going to think about cops dancing around like crazy people in their cars?"

  She frowned. "Maybe I should blast the music and roll down the windows so they know what we're listening to. If they could hear Billy Joel, they'd start dancing too! It's a moral necessity to dance when you hear him singing!"

  He shook his head. "Really? I seem to be able to resist."

  "Bob, you're a fuddy duddy! You need to have fun with your job! Stop being so serious." She turned the music up a little louder and continued her car dance.

  The dispatcher cut in. "All available units on the South East Side, there is an armed robbery in progress at..."

  Chaynade snapped to attention and shut off her music. "That's us. Let's go!"

  Bob flipped the lights on and took a u-turn at the next intersection, ignoring the young kid who flipped him off. Chaynade grabbed the radio and responded, giving their location and estimated time of arrival.

  As soon as she put the radio down, Bob told her, "Wait in the car until I can go in with you. No heroics!" Chaynade was a bit of a hothead and ran into dangerous situations without thinking first. Bob couldn't let her risk herself. She was too much like a kid sister to him.

  They were the first on scene, and while Bob was putting the car in park, Chaynade rushed out of the car, going in before taking the time to draw her gun.

  Bob was less than thirty seconds behind her, just long enough to see her dive to cover a small child who was crying.

  The perpetrator had his gun pointed at the child. "I told you to shut up!" His gun went off, and Bob didn't blink before shooting him. Twice.

  When the man dropped, he turned, and saw Chaynade slumped over the little girl over a display of bottled water. "Chay!" He crouched beside her, checking his partner's pulse. He slowly lowered her off the frightened girl, who couldn't have been more than six, and was wailing more loudly than before.