Mail Order Mama Read online

  Her new mother-in-law rounded on Emily, a scowl on her face. “Not unless you know about Norwegian cooking. Do you?” Her voice sounded angry.

  Emily swallowed hard, determined to get along with her new mother-in-law. “No, Ma’am, but I’d be happy to learn.”

  “Just stay out of the way.” Ingrid turned back to her stove and the strong odors coming from it.

  Emily looked to see if anyone other than Abbie had noticed the exchange, but no one appeared to be paying any attention. The house was filled with blond Norwegians, and Emily felt out of place with her brunette hair. She moved out of the way as she’d been asked and went to speak to Birgitta, Abbie still clinging to her hand.

  Birgitta introduced her to several of her siblings, none of whom Emily would later remember. She’d need to meet them one at a time to remember names and faces. Today, she was simply overwhelmed by them all.

  Everyone was polite with the single exception of her mother-in-law. She refused to let it bother her, though. The woman simply didn’t know her, and once she did, she’d come around. She had to.

  She sat next to Benjamin for the meal, and once Lars had said the prayer for all of them, they ate the huge meal. She was only able to eat a few bites, but managed to make it look like more by pushing the food around on her plate. She didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by not eating the food they’d cooked, but she was so nervous, her throat felt like it was closing up.

  When it came time to cut the wedding cake, she glanced up at Benjamin as they held the knife together. They sliced through the cake and cut small slices for each of them. Emily took her fork and carefully fed a bite of the cake to Benjamin as she’d seen done at a wedding back home. When Benjamin returned the favor, she forced herself to chew, but the cake tasted like sawdust to her.

  Abbie was still staying within a few feet of Emily at all times, obviously afraid her new mama was going to run off somewhere.

  It was hours before the party finally ended, but it all passed in a blur for Emily. She talked to the girls as much as she could while Benjamin laughed and joked with his brothers. Emily would look up from time to time and always find Benjamin’s eyes on her. She would blush and look down paying attention to whomever was speaking to her.

  Once the guests had thinned out, Benjamin led Emily and the girls outside. “It’s time for us to go home. We’ll be back to get you first thing in the morning,” Benjamin promised the girls.

  Abbie reached out to cling to Emily’s hand. “Can’t we come home with you?”

  Benjamin shook his head, squatting down until he was eye level with his older daughter. “I’ll take good care of your new mama. I promise.”

  “I don’t want her to go away.” The fear of losing her new mother was apparent in Abbie’s voice.

  Emily hugged the child to her. “I’m not going anywhere. I came all this way on a train to be your mama. How could I leave now before we’ve had a chance to do anything fun together? I haven’t gotten to read to you or bake you a cake or cookies. We haven’t even been on a picnic or a walk through the woods. We’re going to do all those things just as soon as we can. Okay?”

  Abbie stared up at Emily in the darkness. “You promise?”

  Emily stroked her cheek. “I promise.” Emily knew she had her work cut out for her as she helped this little girl get over her fear of losing her. How could she explain to her that even if she had somewhere else to go, she wouldn’t leave her?

  “Me too?” Georgie asked, obviously not concerned just wanting to be included.

  “We can’t do anything fun without you, Georgie!” Emily told the younger girl hugging her as well.

  She looked back at Abbie. “Are you okay?” She really hated the idea of leaving the little girl, not only for her, though. She was afraid of the wedding night, and knew if the girls were there, she could make an excuse to sit by Abbie’s bed during the night.

  Abbie nodded. “Tomorrow we’ll have all day together?”

  “I need to write two letters tomorrow, but I have nothing else planned for the whole day, except making a supper that is not bacon sandwiches. Will you girls help me with that?”

  Abbie giggled. “We’ve had bacon sandwiches a lot since Mama died.” She covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry.”

  Emily shook her head, understanding immediately. “You had a mama before me you loved very much. You can talk to me about her anytime you want to. I’ll even help you take flowers to her grave if you want.”

  Abbie flung her arms around Emily. “I’m so glad we picked you to be our new mama.”

  Emily bowed her head low over Abbie’s and kissed the top of her head. “So am I.” And she was. Being their mama was something she had been looking forward to. Being Benjamin’s wife was the scary part.

  Benjamin cleared his throat. “It’s time for us to go. We’ll be here early tomorrow morning. Be good for your Farmor.”

  “We’re always good!” Georgie told him as he helped Emily into the buggy for the drive home. “We’ll see you tomorrow, Papa and Mail Order Mama!”

  “It’s just Mama,” Abbie corrected in a loud whisper.

  “Bye, Mama!” Georgie yelled.

  “G’night, Mama and Papa,” Abbie told them, waving as they drove away.

  As soon as they were on the road, Benjamin took Emily’s hand in his. “Thank you so much for making my daughters feel so important. It means everything to me.” As the day had progressed, she’d become prettier and prettier to him. He was sure it was the way she’d acted toward his daughters.

  “Our daughters are important. I hated leaving them there.” For more reasons than one.

  “I know, but you and I need at least one night alone together.” He slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him on the buggy seat. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look in your wedding gown?”

  She shook her head staring up at him in wonder.

  “Well, you do. You’re a beautiful bride. Abbie was right. I’m really glad we chose you to be our mail order mama.”

  Emily blushed but laughed softly. “Your girls are wonderful. I’m really looking forward to getting to know them better.”

  He looked down at her in the light of the full moon. “What about me? Are you looking forward to getting to know me better?”

  She bit her lip afraid he was talking about having marital relations with her that evening. “I’m nervous about getting to know you better,” she finally said, honestly.

  “There’s nothing to be nervous about.” He kept his voice soft and gentle, determined not to frighten off his shy bride. When he’d courted Anna, she’d been as eager for love making as he was. They’d spent hours kissing and hugging and holding hands. They’d stroked one another until they were both desperate to be together. By the time they finally married, she had fallen eagerly into his arms. Emily’s shyness was something he hadn’t bargained for, but he had always had strong needs, and he wasn’t going to put off his wedding night, just because his bride had a strong case of the jitters.

  Chapter Four

  After pulling the buggy in front of his house, Benjamin jumped down to help Emily to the ground. He opened the door and led her up the stairs. The store was on the ground floor, and the back stairs behind the store led up to their house. The house was still a two story home, but it simply started with the second level. He showed her the kitchen, parlor and dining room first, and then led her up the stairs. “It was built this way so we could live on the same property the store resides on. I like to be close to the store, because I feel like it stays safer this way. The girls can be left alone in the house during the day, because really, I’m still here.”

  “It’s nice.” She looked around at the pretty decorations on the walls and knew she’d be in no hurry to change anything. Anna had done a beautiful job with this house.

  He opened the door to a guest bedroom first. “This room is just an extra. We’d hoped to have enough children to fill the whole place, but
it never happened.” There was sadness in his voice as he said the words.

  “I’m sorry. She never got pregnant after Georgie?”

  “She was pregnant when she died. She got scarlet fever in her fifth month and just never recovered. The rest of us had it too, but it didn’t affect us like it did her.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Her hand reached for his and squeezed it. It was the first time she’d touched him voluntarily and it felt strange to her, but good.

  “Thank you.” He led her to the next room and opened the door. It was a little girl’s room. There was a pretty quilt on the bed along with a rag doll. A painting of a flower graced the wall. “This is Abbie’s room. If you ever forget which room belongs to which child, Abbie’s room is always spotless with everything put away and her bed made perfectly. On the other hand…” He opened the door to Georgie’s room and Emily couldn’t help but let out a quick laugh.

  “Georgie’s not quite so neat is she?” Georgie’s room had the same pretty quilt on it, but hers was rumpled terribly. Her rag doll, identical to her sisters, was standing on its head on the dresser. There was a nightgown on the floor, half under the bed. There was a painting of a stream in front of a forest on the wall, but it was askew making the unkempt look even more obvious.

  “This is actually very neat for Georgie. She made a real effort to make it look nice for you.” Benjamin’s eyes were twinkling as he spoke, acknowledging his younger daughter’s flaw with amusement.

  Emily’s eyes met Benjamin’s and she grinned. “I guess neatness will be one of the first things I work on with her.” It was nice to have a place to start. She wondered what she would find to be Abbie’s biggest flaw.

  “It’s going to have to be.” He led her to the next room and opened the door wide. “This is our room. I cleared out the top two drawers for you.” He dropped her bag on the bed. “If you need more space, just let me know.”

  “Thank you. I’m sure that will be more than enough.” She smiled ruefully at her bag with all her belongings in it. There was so little she had, she could probably make do with half a drawer.

  “You can pick out some fabric from the store tomorrow so you can make some more dresses.” He guessed correctly what she was thinking as he eyed her small bag.

  She smiled her thanks. “I appreciate it. I’m sorry I came so ill-prepared. If I’d had another week or two, I could have had some dresses finished before I came.” She wondered if he thought less of her for having so little. She hoped not, but there was little she could do about it now if he did. She’d just have to work extra hard to get some dresses made up as quickly as possible.

  “You’ll have plenty of time now to work on them. The girls need to be taught to sew anyway.”

  She looked around the room and saw the furniture looked sturdy. There was a large bed that she tried not to stare at as well as a dresser and a good sized armoire. In the corner was a rocking chair. She walked over to it and ran her hand across the seat.

  He followed her and sat down on the bed. With him sitting and her standing, she was only slightly taller than him. What had she been thinking marrying a man who was so much larger than she was? He could hurt her so easily!

  He caught her hand and pulled her toward him and down onto his lap. He cupped the back of her head with his hand and brought her lips to his. His tongue automatically traced the seam of her lips, and she wasn’t sure what he was trying to do. She kept her mouth tightly closed and her hands on his shoulders to steady herself.

  “Open your mouth for me,” he whispered against her lips.

  “What?” There was shock in her tone, but he didn’t respond, simply slid his tongue into her open mouth. He nipped her bottom lip with his teeth while his tongue explored hers.

  She’d never been kissed before their wedding, and it had never occurred to her a man would want to put his tongue in her mouth as he kissed her. She stayed rigid against him for a moment before relaxing into his embrace, her hands moving around to his back and stroking the muscles through his suit jacket.

  His hands went around her back and he unbuttoned her to the waist, his hands exploring her body through her chemise. After a moment, he pulled back, his breathing heavy. “I’m going to go out and take care of the horses while you get ready for bed.” He put her on her feet and she swayed a little but grabbed the armoire to steady herself.

  Why had his kiss made her so weak in the knees? She’d never felt anything like that before. Of course, she’d never been kissed before today either, so maybe kissing was supposed to leave her weak in the knees.

  He stood and left the room, and she heard the front door close behind him. She was in a daze as she put her clothes away in the drawers and changed into her nightgown. She left her dirty dress in her carpet bag with plans to see if anything else needed to be washed.

  By the time she heard the door open again, she’d worked herself into a frenzy worried about what was going to happen. Her mother had explained how a man consummated a marriage, but she’d pictured a normal sized man. She couldn’t imagine lying down and letting Benjamin lie on top of her. He’d crush her with his bulk. He wasn’t fat; he was merely tall and muscular, and she was convinced she was too small to ever mate with a man of his size. Surely if she mentioned that to him he’d understand.

  She was lying in the bed with the covers tucked under her chin when he walked into the room, and by the tension in her body, he could see that his attempts to relax her by kissing her before he left to put the horses up hadn’t worked. She was more nervous than ever.

  He sighed and turned off the lamp, wishing she would let him look at her, but he knew it was out of the question. It would make her even more nervous. He quickly undressed, happy that his body was hidden from her, not because he was embarrassed, but because he was fully aroused, and he was certain if she saw him now, she would be in a full blown panic.

  He slipped between the sheets and lay on his side facing her, his chin propped up by one of his hands. His other hand stroked her cheek until she turned her face toward him. “There’s nothing to worry about. I need you to trust me.” His voice was low and gravelly.

  She shivered at his touch. “I’m sorry I’m so nervous. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

  He smiled in the dark. It was funny she felt the need to tell him it was her first time. It was obvious she’d never been touched by a man in any way before. “I know.” He leaned down and brushed his lips across hers again, but this time when his tongue flicked her lips, she knew to open her mouth for him. She kept a tight grip on the sheets to keep them pulled up to her neck.

  Instead of trying to fight her over the sheet, he concentrated on kissing her doing his best to calm her fears. His hand stroked her cheek as his tongue tangled with hers.

  After a moment, she relaxed her grip on the covers as she got caught up in kissing her new husband. She rolled to her side so she could move closer to him, not realizing what she was doing.

  He took the opportunity to trail his fingers from her cheek down over the covers to her hip. He pulled her closer to him as he stroked her body through the layers of blankets. His hand cupped her bottom and pulled her even closer so they were touching from chest to hips.

  Emily felt a tingling all through her body starting from her lips and spreading down through her extremities. She’d never felt anything like it, but she knew immediately she liked it. How could he make her feel that way?

  Benjamin pulled his lips from hers to brush them against her cheek. He’d missed being with a woman so much, it was all he could do to keep going slowly. “Are you cold?” he asked softly.

  She pulled her head back for a moment, a little startled by the question. “No, not at all.”

  He smiled, and pushed all but the sheet off of her and down to the foot of the bed. “Good. We can get rid of some of these excess blankets then.”

  Her eyes widened as she realized she was now only covered by her thin white nightgown and a sheet. His hand slid
under the sheet and stroked her from her shoulder to her elbow through her nightgown. “You’re so small.”

  “Was Anna bigger than me?”

  He nodded, not wanting to compare the two women, but he’d been unable to get his late wife off his mind. “Much. She was taller than Birgitta.”

  Emily was surprised to hear that. She’d never met a woman as tall as his sister before. She couldn’t help but wonder if he wished she was a tall blond like he was used to. She didn’t ask, though, she just looked at him in the dark with her wide blue eyes.

  “I feel like you’re going to break if I touch you,” he whispered.

  She’d been worried about that herself at first, but when he said it, it made her feel as if he didn’t think she was good enough. “I’m not going to break. I’m strong.” To show her courage, she lifted her hand and ran her fingers along his cheek, feeling the stubble there. She trailed her fingers down to his neck, and moved her hand around behind it to cup it and pull his mouth to hers again. She didn’t know where the boldness had come from, but she liked his kissed and she wanted him to kiss her again.

  This time when he kissed her, his mouth was more insistent against hers. She responded eagerly her tongue tracing the inside of his lip.

  His hand moved down the back of her nightgown to her bottom, pulling her fully against him, this time with no covers blocking him. She felt his erection prodding her belly and pulled back in surprise. “It’s normal,” he whispered, pulling her back to him for another deep kiss.

  He kept one hand curled under his head while the other slowly stroked her back, buttocks and thighs. After a moment, his hand came around to cup her breast through her nightgown. He was surprised to find it so full. She was so little, but she was perfectly proportioned. He wanted to remove her nightgown, but knew she wasn’t ready for that yet, so he stroked her through the thin fabric.

  She felt a pressure building in her center, and wondered if she was supposed to feel a sort of pain there. She couldn’t ask him, though, so she just pressed closer to him, feeling strange as if she were doing something wrong when she felt him poking into her stomach.