Mail Order Matron (Brides of Beckham Book 9) Read online

  Julia nodded. She didn’t really need the help, but she certainly wouldn’t turn it away. She knew she hadn’t slept more than ten hours during the four days she’d been traveling, and she was exhausted.

  She changed quickly with the other woman’s help, and then she sat down while her hair was fixed. Julia tried to keep her head up, but all she wanted to do was sleep. She forced herself to focus on her soon-to-be-husband. She catalogued his features. He certainly wasn’t someone she’d call handsome. He had dark hair and brown eyes. She’d imagined a man with blond hair. He wore a straw hat that he’d only taken off when they’d entered the tiny house, letting her see his hair was all pushed down where the hat had been.

  He was definitely acceptable to her, though. It’s not like there were other men beating down her door for the privilege of marrying her. Once her hair was finished, she stood up, tucking the dress she’d taken off back into her bag knowing he’d want to leave as soon as the knot was officially tied.

  Back in the parlor, Edward waited with the pastor, tapping his foot impatiently. She’d said she’d hurry. How long did it take to change your dress?

  When she came out, her hair looked like it had just been fixed, and her dress was much nicer than the first. Not that it really mattered to him.

  Julia rushed to Edward’s side, facing the pastor with him. The service was short and sweet. Every wedding she’d ever been to had taken at least an hour, but hers only took a few minutes. When he lowered his head to kiss her, it felt strange. She’d only ever been kissed by one man in her life, and having another touch her seemed strange.

  After the ceremony, he shook hands with the minister and handed him some money. He took her carpet bag and escorted her to the wagon. After helping her up, he ran around to the other side, slightly annoyed with her for taking so long to get ready. “We’re going to have to hurry to get home. That took longer than I’d expected.”

  She couldn’t believe he’d complained that she changed out of a dress she’d worn for over four days. “I’m sorry if you think it took longer than it should have. I’d been wearing the same clothes since leaving Massachusetts and was feeling like something that just climbed out from beneath a rock.” She faced straight ahead as she said the words, refusing to look at him.

  He sighed. “Let’s not start our marriage off on the wrong foot. Tell me about your family. Were you an only child?”

  She shook her head. “No, I wasn’t. I had a brother, but he died of polio at the same time as my father, and that’s when Mother was afflicted as well. I’ve been nursing Mother since 1870.”

  He stared at her in disbelief. “Sixteen years? That’s a long time to be devoted to someone.”

  She shrugged. “She was my mother. She died in her sleep just days before I answered your letter. I had to get away from the house I’d grown up in. Away from all the people who knew me.”

  “What was your mother like?” he asked, hoping he could draw out the conversation and learn something about the stranger he’d just agreed to love, honor, and cherish.

  Julia thought about that. “Before she was ill, she was wonderful. She taught me so much about how to be a good wife. She spent as much time as she could with me every day. After, she changed. Part of it was losing her husband and son so close together, but part was simply being bedridden. She had always been active, going on long walks and spending time outdoors. After, she couldn’t really be moved. I tried to get her to move downstairs, where I could help her into a wheeled chair and take her outside, but she refused. She became a recluse after that and expected me to do the same.”

  “She didn’t let you have friends?”

  “No, she didn’t. I was engaged to be married when my family fell ill. The doctor isn’t certain how it skipped me, but I’m thankful it did. Within a month, we knew that she needed me to care for her. My fiancé agreed to wait for a year, but one year became two, and then he moved on. He couldn’t keep waiting. He’s married to a sweet girl we grew up with, and they have four children together.” She shrugged as if she didn’t care that he’d moved on, but she still did.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She shook her head. “I’m fine. It was a long time ago. His oldest boy is thirteen now.” She stared ahead for a moment. “What about your wife?”

  “We were married young. I was twenty, and she was eighteen. We never had any children. When we moved here eleven years ago, we were going to make a fresh start. We’d lived in New York City, and we both had to work all day in factories there to survive. We decided to take advantage of The Homestead Act of '62 and move out here where we could have land.” He sighed. “I loved working the land, but she hated feeling like she was isolated from the world. She wasn’t happy from the day we moved here. Six years ago, she caught fever, and I couldn’t get her to a doctor in time.”

  “I’m sorry.” She knew the words were inadequate, but she had no others for him. She wanted to let him know that she truly understood the grief that came with losing someone you loved, but how?

  “I’m sure it was almost a relief for her to get off this prairie. As much as I love it is just how much she hated it.” He didn’t look at her as he spoke about his dead wife.

  She nodded. “I won’t try to take her place.”

  He turned to her then. “You are taking her place in some ways, but I’m happy that you understand I’ll always love her.”

  “I do.” She didn’t add that she still loved Joseph. They’d do fine together if neither of them ever expected anything else from the other.

  They drove the rest of the way in silence. She wanted to talk to him, but had no idea what to say. He was a virtual stranger to her, and she was going to his house as his wife. What had she been thinking? Nothing had forced her to do this. By her own actions, she was here, and she was going to have to make the most of it.

  She hadn’t seen a house in at least thirty minutes when he pulled onto a dirt road and stopped in front of a small house. It wasn’t small enough to call a cabin, but it wasn’t much bigger. She could tell he’d added on to it at least once, so maybe he would again as their family grew.

  He helped her down from the wagon and carried her trunk inside, while she carried her carpet bag. He put the trunk in front of the bed in the small bedroom. Everything else was in the main room. There was a cook stove with a work table on one wall, along with a small basin and a water pump. She was relieved that she’d have water in the house and wouldn’t have to carry it from a well.

  There was a table that he’d obviously made himself and four chairs surrounding it. Dirty red and white checkered curtains hung at the windows, and she decided washing them would be one of the first things she did. The place needed a good fall cleaning soon.

  She eyed the pile of dishes in the sink, wondering how long they’d been there. Would she be able to handle the amount of work that would come with just getting this house into shape? She sighed heavily, exhausted. Today, she couldn’t, but after a good night’s sleep, she was sure she’d be ready to put a dent in it.

  She walked into the tiny bedroom as he was leaving, accidentally brushing up against him and jumping back, her cheeks turning bright red. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I need to go milk the cow.” He said nothing else as he hurried to the door to see to his evening chores.

  She stared down at the dirty quilt and dirty sheets on the bed. She’d brought with her a quilt she’d pieced herself over the long years taking care of her mother. She also had a set of sheets, and she immediately stripped the bed and put her own clean things onto it. She wasn’t sleeping in filth if she didn’t have to.

  She looked through the kitchen and sighed at the lack of food. How did he expect her to cook when the only things he had on hand were milk, eggs, and beans?

  The door opened, and he brought her the milk. “I’ll get the rest of the supplies from the wagon.”

  “Supplies? You bought supplies?”

  He chuckled. “You think I’m going to get married just so
I can keep eating beans and scrambled eggs for every meal? I got lots of supplies for you. Had a good harvest this year.”

  He carried in barrels of food. And she peeked into each one as he set it down. She sighed with relief. There was sugar, brown sugar, lard, flour, and canned goods in a huge crate. He even had some different meats for her to use. “Wonderful. I’ll be able to feed us well on all this.”

  He gave her a half smile. “I also enjoy hunting. As long as there are animals to hunt, we’ll have a steady supply of meat all winter.”

  She looked through what she had to work with and mentally calculated the time. “Would you mind if I just did pancakes and bacon for supper, and tomorrow I’ll start cooking? I don’t really have time to do anything else tonight.”

  He shook his head. “I still have some chores to do, but I knew you’d need food if you were going to cook.” He left without another word.

  She ran to the door to call after him. “I’ll have supper ready in an hour!”

  He raised a hand to indicate he’d heard her as he walked away. She turned to the kitchen and rolled up her sleeves. The dishes had to be done before she could even think about cooking.

  As she worked, she quickly thanked God that he’d at least learned to soak the pots he used to cook with rather than letting everything cake on. It was the only thing he seemed to do to make the dishes easier, but she was pleased he did that.

  She forced her mind to stay on the task at hand, rather than worrying about the wedding night to come. She really had no idea how that would be. Her mother had explained to her what happened on her wedding night, but she’d done it to tell her that she was better off when Joseph married another woman. It had been said sarcastically and cruelly.

  She couldn’t imagine Edward hurting her, but she’d only met him a few hours before, and her mother’s words were ringing in her ears. “You must lay back and submit and allow him to force his way into your body.” She shuddered.

  She refused to think about it. Instead she made a mental list of the things she wanted to accomplish the following day. She needed to wash the curtains and the bedding as well as the dirty clothes she’d seen strewn around the house. She wanted to get the windows washed, the floor scrubbed, bread baked, the stove blacked, the food put away, and the walls cleaned. She didn’t know if she could do it all in one day, but she was certainly going to try.

  Once she was caught up, she’d be able to just do the things that needed to be done on a daily basis, rather than playing catch up with the things that had been neglected. Looking at the floor, she wasn’t certain if it had been cleaned since Edward’s first wife had died. She hadn’t expected much in the way of the house or its cleanliness, though, so she accepted the work as her role in life.

  It took her thirty minutes to get the dishes washed and put away. She added reorganizing the kitchen to her mental list as she looked for the frying pan so she could make the bacon and pancakes. It was a quick, easy meal she’d made hundreds of times, but on the new stove it was different. She had to watch the fire more closely than she had on her stove at home.

  When Edward returned from his chores, she was just putting the pancakes on the table along with a glass of milk for each of them. She would serve coffee in the mornings, because she’d noticed that he had some coffee beans and a grinder, but she was too tired to add anything that might keep her awake. Sleeping tonight would be necessary for getting her chores done the following day.

  She took a seat and watched as he washed his hands before sitting down across from her. She didn’t know if he was one to pray before meals, so she waited a moment, and when he just stabbed some pancakes from the small pile on a plate, she asked, “Do you mind if we pray before eating?”

  He chuckled. “I’ve gotten so used to praying silently that it never occurred to me you’d want me to pray aloud.” He bowed his head and said a quick prayer, thanking God for their food and for bringing her to him safely.

  She echoed his “amen” before putting some pancakes and bacon onto her own plate. “How many animals do you have?” she asked.

  “Four horses, two cows, one’s a bull, so leave them alone, and about twenty or so chickens. Some are roosters, but some aren’t. We have several laying hens. Five pigs, including four sows.” He shrugged. “Got a dog out there too. His name is Sam. He’ll come when he’s called and stay with you if you get nervous being alone out here like we are.”

  She nodded her head. “I might need that for the first few days. It does seem very isolated out here.”

  “Oh, it is. All my crops are in for the year, so I’ll be working on fences and repairing buildings for the next while. Got to plow the fields as well. I do have several acres of winter wheat growing, and I’ll be watching that as I need to.”

  “What do you grow besides wheat?” She took a bite of bacon and closed her eyes as the flavor washed over her.

  “I grow corn and wheat. Leah always kept a kitchen garden as well.”

  Julia nodded. “It’s too late in the year now, but I’ll start one next year. I love working in a garden.”

  He blinked at her in surprise. “You do? Leah always hated it, but said it was her duty as a farmer’s wife.”

  “Oh, no. It will be a pleasure for me!”

  He watched her for a moment before nodding. “I’m glad you’ll enjoy it.”

  She smiled. “Honestly, I think I’ll enjoy most aspects of life here. I didn’t enjoy taking care of my mother, because she refused to let me leave the house unless I needed to go to the store, and she was very clear about how long each trip to the store should take, but I loved the housework and cooking.” She shrugged. “I feel like that’s what I should be doing.”

  He nodded. “I hope you still feel that way in the spring after we’ve been trapped here in the house several times by the cold.”

  She reached out and covered his hand with hers, surprising even herself. “I’m sure I will.”

  After supper, she washed the few dishes they’d dirtied and put them away while he sat at the table and watched her work. When he’d first seen her in the train station, he’d been unsure how he felt about marrying a woman who was…well larger than he’d expected, but watching her work, he knew that he couldn’t complain. She was a hard worker, and the way she moved while she cleaned had a grace to it that he hadn’t expected.

  When she was completely finished, she turned to see him watching her. She blushed. “It’s been several long days for me. I’m going to go change into my nightgown and get ready for bed.”

  He nodded at her slowly. “I’ll give you five minutes and join you.” He watched her as she moved toward the bedroom. He’d missed this part of marriage. He knew he should really leave her alone with as tired as she obviously was, but it had been so long since he’d had a woman that he didn’t think he could lay beside her all night without touching her. Besides, it was his wedding night.

  He gave her the promised five minutes, and then five more, before going into the bedroom. She was curled on one side of the bed, on her side, and her soft, even breathing filled the room.

  Edward sighed. His bride had fallen asleep on their wedding night before he’d even had a chance to touch her. He pulled off his clothes and blew out the lantern. He’d just have to wake her in the morning and show her how good marriage relations could be.

  Chapter Four

  Julia woke to the feel of something on her cheek. She went to push the offending object away, only to realize it was a hand. She came awake with a start to realize she was in bed with Edward…her new husband. Had she really fallen asleep before he’d joined her? She was mortified. No, she wasn’t looking forward to that part of marriage, but she knew he was.

  She turned toward him in the bed. “I’m sorry I fell asleep. You should have woken me.”

  He brushed a soft kiss against her lips. “I couldn’t wake you! Not when you’d been on a train for four days.” His hands moved against her neck and fluttered down to cup her breast th
rough her nightgown.

  She fought the urge to slap his hand away. It didn’t feel right to have him touch her there when they’d only just met. He stroked her gently, obviously trying to make her feel some of what he was feeling. She laid still and let him touch her, but wanted to run away.

  Finally, he sighed heavily. “You’re not enjoying any of this, are you?”

  Julia stroked his cheek with her hand. “I’ve only known you for one day. I want to make you happy, but this just doesn’t feel right.”

  He rolled to his back and stared up at the ceiling, obviously frustrated with her. “How much time do you need?” he asked, annoyance filling his voice.

  “I really don’t know. I don’t know you.” Her mind raced as she tried to think up a solution. “I’m not going to deny you your rights.”

  “I don’t want a woman who is simply ‘giving me my rights.’ I want a woman who wants me.”

  She thought about that. “Why don’t we say two weeks? Two weeks of getting to know each other. At the end of those two weeks, I’m sure I’ll be comfortable with you.”

  He turned toward her in the dark. He’d only known she’d existed for a little over two weeks. Surely he could wait that long. “During those two weeks, I can kiss you anytime I want, and try to convince you to shorten the time.”

  She laughed softly. “I think I’d like that.”

  He rolled to his side facing her, and pulled her into his arms, his lips pressed against hers. “I won’t hurt you.”

  “Thank you for being so understanding with me.” She couldn’t believe he was actually giving her a reprieve. “I’ll do my best to make it up to you.”

  He grunted in answer, obviously still slightly annoyed with her. “I knew my first wife for three years, and courted her for two. It makes sense that you’re not ready to just let me have my way with you. No matter how much I wish it were different.” He rolled out of bed, and dressed in the pre-dawn light. “Go ahead and get breakfast going while I milk the cow and collect eggs.”