Maybe in Moab Read online

  When he knocked on the bathroom door, she considered refusing to respond, but she didn’t want to keep being childish. She thought about everything Dr. Lachele and Alexis had both told her. “Yeah?”

  “Can I come in?”

  “Let me get out.” She didn’t want him to be there with her naked in the tub when she was already feeling so vulnerable.

  “All right.” He went to the couch and waited while she changed into pajamas that covered her from head to toe. There was no doubt in his mind he wasn’t getting any that night.

  She walked out and sat beside him on the couch, waiting for him to start yelling at her. He hadn’t really yelled before, but he had raised his voice, and to her that was unacceptable. “How was your drive?”

  “I did a lot of thinking,” he said.

  “We agreed to stay together for a year. It’s in the contract.”

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Aren’t you about to tell me that you’re going to leave because I’m not the woman you need me to be?” Sydney’s eyes met his, and hers were full of hurt.

  “That was the furthest thing from my mind.”

  “All right, continue then.”

  He shook his head, trying to recapture his train of thought. “So I thought a lot while I drove.”

  “You did?” she said, sounding surprised.

  “You’re making me crazy,” he said. “Will you just listen for a minute?”

  “I’ll try.”

  “While I drove, I realized that I was being unfair to you. Just because I lost someone I cared for, doesn’t mean that you’re not worth loving.” He shook his head. “I spent so much time thinking that Paisley was the be-all, end-all of my existence, and now…well, I realize I can go on after heartache. Loving you doesn’t mean that I love her any less.”

  “No, if it ever happens, it won’t mean that.”

  He shook his head, wondering if she was ever going to understand what he was trying to say. “No, I’m trying to tell you I love you, you big dope!”

  She stared at him. “You do not. You already told me you could never fall for me, because you would be afraid of losing me. Don’t lie to me to make me feel better just because we had a fight.”

  Jackson closed his eyes and counted to ten. “I. Love. You. Will you get that through your thick head?”

  Sydney frowned at him. “You could be a little nicer about it.”

  “I tried that at first, and you wouldn’t listen! So I had to get mean. I swear you can bring out the best and the worst of me in a ten-minute time span.”

  “That does sound like love.” She eyed him for a moment, finally nodding. “I love you too, but now you can’t take it back.”

  “Do you really think I’d tell you I love you and then take it back? What kind of monster do you think I am?”

  She sighed. “I don’t really think you’d do that. I’ve just been feeling particularly vulnerable since you told me you were afraid to love me.” She bit her lip for a moment. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m positive!”

  She flung herself at him, throwing her arms around him. “Now I don’t have to keep worrying that as soon as we’ve been married a year, you’ll take off and go set up a campsite on Paisley’s grave and live there forever.”

  He looked at her as if she’d lost her mind, and she probably had. “You really worried about that?”

  “Of course I did! I’ve never seen a man so totally devoted to someone who was in his past. It really made me sad to even talk to you for a while.”

  “Don’t let it make you sad. I love you, and I’m not going to be obsessed with her ever again.”

  “Does that mean you want to have babies now? And do I have to meet your mother? She really creeps me out. I think I’d rather avoid that until the kids are all graduating from college or something.”

  He laughed softly. “I don’t think we can put it off that long, but we’ll do our best.” He stroked his hands over her back. “I’m really sorry I made you feel so insecure. I thought you were an amazing, beautiful woman from the first moment I saw you. Now I think you’re the only woman I will ever love again. Well, unless we have little girls, and then I’ll love them too.”

  She sighed, finally starting to believe him. How could she change gears so quickly when she’d been so certain he would never love her? “So now we can make real plans for the future, and you won’t run away?”

  “I won’t run away.”

  “Well, then we have a wedding to go to. My friend Tess is getting married, and we’re going. You’re going to wear the suit you wore to our wedding, and I’m going to wear a bridesmaid dress.”

  “How long have you known?”

  “Oh, not long. All four of us went to Dr. Lachele at the same time, but Tess just gave us her wedding date.”

  “Sounds good to me.” He drew her in for a kiss. “You’re my forever now.”

  She sighed happily. “I’m glad. I honestly thought I’d be unloved forever.”

  “That’ll never happen.”

  Epilogue

  Sydney yawned widely, rolling to her side in bed. The twins were crying—again. She and Jackson had only wanted two children, but after they had Christopher, she got pregnant again a year later, and this time it was twins. They had three children. A two-year-old boy and newborn twin girls. “I think it’s your turn,” she said poking Jackson.

  “It was my turn last time,” he said yawning. “Besides, I don’t have the equipment to feed them. And I have to drive to the airport tomorrow and pick up my mother so she can see her new little grandangels.”

  “Grandangels? Is she really calling them that?” She rolled her eyes. She wasn’t a huge fan of her mother-in-law, but she had learned to deal with her.

  “Of course she is. She bought them matching pajamas and some matching onesies. She said you’re going to love them.”

  Sydney groaned. “The girls aren’t identical, and I’m going to let them figure out their own identities by letting them dress differently.” Little Isabelle had dark hair, but Naomi had blond hair like her mother. “Why can’t she just stay in Texas?”

  “Because after that first awful trip, we never went back.” One of the twins started crying louder. “Why don’t I get them and bring them to you to nurse?”

  “I’ll wait here.” She watched him leave the room, coming back with a baby in each arm. “I love you more every time I see you with our girls.”

  He smiled, sitting on the side of the bed and handing her the babies. “I love you more every time I see you with any of them.” He leaned down and kissed her softly. “I can’t believe we’re this happy after being matched by a crazy purple-haired matchmaker who thinks she has the ability to grant wishes.”

  “I can’t either. But we are, and I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth.”

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